A Cartoon Christmas Carol
by Operas'n'Cartoons1883
Summary: Penny-pinching Julius Caesar gets a visit from three spirits, who show him the light to the point where he changes completely.
1. Chapter 1: Cast

Cast of Characters

Ebenezer Scrooge- Julius Caesar (Asterix)

Bob Cratchit- Mickey Mouse (Disney)

Mrs. Cratchit- Minnie Mouse (Disney)

Cratchit Kids- Froggo, Pepper Mills, Lucky Bob (Histeria!)

Tiny Tim- Timmy Turner (Fairly Odd Parents)

Fred- Toast (Histeria!)

Jacob Marley- Mr. Krabs (SpongeBob SquarePants)

Ghost of Christmas Past- Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Ghost of Christmas Present- Obelix (Asterix)

Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come- Nekozawa (Ouran High School Host Club)

Young Ebenezer Scrooge- Julius Caesar (Histeria!)

Isabelle- Cleopatra (Asterix)


	2. Chapter 2: Mr Krabs' Ghost

Mr. Krabs was as dead as a doornail—to begin with. In fact, he had been dead for seven years. The only reason why Krabs' name was still on the "Caesar & Krabs" sign was because Julius Caesar, being a stingy old fart, did not even bother to pay for it.

Julius Caesar was a nasty old man. His hair was white with age, his piercing blue eyes were small and beady, his physique bony and thin, and his face was ravaged by age wrinkles.

Now, old Caesar had a cheerful young clerk named Mickey Mouse. He was warming a piece of coal, when Caesar came in. Mickey chuckled nervously, "G-g-good morning, Mr. Caesar."

Caesar was annoyed. "Mouse!" he shouted, "Why are you using a piece of coal?"

"I was just, uh… thawing out the ink," said Mickey meekly.

Caesar then retorted, "You used a piece last week! Now I want you to get back to your work and stay there!" And so Mickey went back to his work.

Just then, a young man with skin that looked fried and whose blond hair was long and straight. It was Master Toast. He came in shouting, "Merry Christmas, dude!"

But Master Toast's uncle Caesar just glared at him and muttered, "What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough." Toast replied, "Why are you in such a nasty mood, man? You're rich enough!"

Caesar retorted, "Why did you get married?"

Toast answered, "Why? 'Cause I fell in love! Besides, my wife and I wanna invite you to our totally rad Christmas dinner!"

This really angered Julius Caesar, who yelled, "Bah, humbug! Any jackanapes who thinks else should be boiled in his own pudding and then thrown to the lions with a stake of holly through his heart!"

Toast remarked, "Harsh!" and he left, but as he did this, he said to Caesar, "If ever you change your mind, we still have an invitation open for you."

No sooner had Toast left the counting house than two men entered. They were Merriwether Lewis and William Clark (both from _Histeria!_). Caesar spoke, "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

Clark said in a Dean Martin-esque voice, "We have come for some special service." Lewis replied in a Jerry Lewis-like voice, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, with the charity service and the collecting for the poor."

But Julius Caesar, being the old miser he was, just threw a wreath at them, shouting, "Give that to the poor, you beggars!" "Oh, with the pain," Lewis muttered after he and Clark left the room.

Presently, Mickey made a suggestion: "Hey, Mr. Caesar, since tomorrow is Christmas, may I have the day off?" After Caesar thought about it a little, he said (reluctantly), "I suppose, but be here all the earlier tomorrow the next day." "Oh, thank you, sir!" Mickey said happily, "And a merry Christmas to you, o Caesar!" And as Mickey left, Caesar retorted, "And a Bah, Humbug to you, o giddy fool!"

That night, Julius Caesar was on his way home when, as he approached the door, the knocker began to resemble the face of Eugene H. Krabs. Startled, Caesar could see it all, the stalk-like eyes, the crooked nose, those crab-like features. But then, Caesar was a skeptic when it came to ghosts, so he passed by.

However, as he went upstairs, Caesar noticed something strange: he thought he heard some chains clanking. Now Caesar was even more spooked, so he hurried upstairs and barred his bedroom door shut.

Even so, Mr. Krabs still managed to go right through the door, for he was a ghost.

Indeed, Julius Caesar could see the resemblance: the ghost was remarkably alike to Mr. Krabs, except for the fact that one, he had a scarf around his head and chin to keep his jaws closed, and two, he was carrying heavy chains.

Still skeptic as ever, Caesar asked, "What do you want with me?"

"Much!"—Krabs' voice, no doubt about that.

"Who are you?"

"Ask me who I _was_."

"Who _were_ you, then?" said Caesar, raising his voice.

"In life I was your partner, Eugene H. Krabs." But Caesar still doubted him. "Why do you doubt your senses?" observed the Ghost.

"Because," said Caesar, "a little thing affects them. At my age, a slight disorder of the stomach makes them cheat. You may be a bit of undigested beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. There's more of gravy than of grave about you for that matter!"

Mr. Krabs just laughed, "Nice joke, but that's not what I'm here for. Julius Caesar, remember when I was alive, I did unkind things to the poor?"

Caesar recalled, "Oh, yes, and all in the same day! Oh, you had class, Eugene Krabs."

"Yeah," Krabs remarked, but not before correcting himself. "Oh, no! No! I was wrong! And so, as punishment, I'm forced to wander the Earth until the end of time, carrying these heavy chains for all eternity! I made the chain link by link, yard by yard! I wore it of my own free will! Your chains could be heavier than mine!"

"Oh, don't be so hard on me, Eugene!" cried Caesar, "How can I reverse this?"

Mr. Krabs answered thus, "Tonight, you will be visited by three spirits. Expect the first when the bell tolls one." And with that, he vanished.


	3. Chapter 3: Christmas Past

Soon after the ghost of Eugene H. Krabs had left, Julius Caesar decided to go to bed. So he put on his nightshirt and cap and drifted off to sleep.

Just then, as the bell tolled one, he saw a strange figure. This figure looked like a short, blond, golden-eyed teenage boy, only he had a metal arm and metal leg to boot. He was dressed in a red cloak, and his blond hair was tied into a braid at the back of his head.

"Are you the spirit, sir, whose coming was foretold to me?" asked Caesar.

"I am," the spirit replied.

"Who, and what are you?" Caesar demanded.

"I am Edward Elric, the Ghost of Christmas Past, but you can call me Ed."

"Oh," mused Caesar, "Then, how come you're such a pipsqueak?"

At that, Ed went berserk, screaming, "DON'T CALL ME PIPSQUEAK! IF MEN WERE MEASURED BY KINDNESS, THEN _YOU'D_ BE NO BIGGER THAN A SPECK OF DUST!"

But Caesar seemed uninterested, saying, "Kindness is of little use in this world these days."

"You didn't always think so," Ed replied as he opened the window.

"I am a mortal," Caesar remonstrated, "and liable to fall."

But Ed insisted, "Just grab onto my hand and we'll get going." So Caesar grabbed onto Ed's hand, and off they went!

They went high above the buildings and Caesar became nervous. Ed then remarked, "What's wrong, Caesar? I thought you enjoyed looking down at the world."

Just then, they came to a bright snowy day. Ed reminded Caesar, "Do you remember this place?"

"Remember this place?" said Caesar as the fond memories sank in, "I was bred in this place. I was a boy here!"

"Your lip is trembling," said Ed. "And what's that on your cheek?"

"Oh, it's just a pimple," Caesar muttered, with an unusual catch in his voice. He then begged Ed to lead him where he would. So Ed did.

There, in a grade school, was a solitary boy, who resembled Pinocchio (_Disney_). That boy was drawing pictures of Aladdin and Jasmine, of Asterix, and of Peter Pan.

Caesar was puzzled. "What is he drawing?" he asked Ed. And Ed replied, "Those are your fan drawings of your heroes."

Then, with a rapidity of transition very foreign to his usual, cynical character, he said, in pity for his former self, "Poor boy!" and began to cry again.

"Why, what's the matter with you?" asked Ed.

"Nothing, nothing really," said Caesar, drying his eyes.

Ed smiled thoughtfully, and said, "Let's see another Christmas, shall we?"

Presently, they saw themselves by the same school, only that school looked older, and the boy, Caesar's younger self, looked more like Danny Fenton (_Danny Phantom_). Presently, a little girl, who looked like Panacea (_Asterix_), entered the classroom, saying cheerfully, "I've come to bring you home, dear brother!"

"Home, little Panacea?" returned the teenage boy.

"Yes!" said the girl all filled with glee. "Home, once and for all! Father has been so much kinder these days that he actually wants you to return home!" And off the teenage boy went with his little sister Panacea, skipping merrily home.

"My little sister Panacea," sighed Caesar, "she had such a tender heart."

"She died a woman," said Ed, "and had, I think, children."

"One child," Caesar returned, "my nephew, Toast." He seemed uneasy in his mind.

Pretty soon, however, he found himself near a warehouse.

"Why, I know this place," Caesar mused, "It's old George Washington's place. I could not have worked for a kinder man."

And there was George Washington. He was tall, wore a blue jacket, a red shirt, and gray riding pants. He had a powdered wig on his head.

Caesar was also amazed to see his old friend, Marc Anthony, and himself as a younger man, who was a looker. Julius Caesar's younger self told Marc Anthony in a Frank Sinatra voice, "Hey, Marc, why don't we go dancing with the ladies tonight." And Marc Anthony replied, in a Dean Martin-esque voice, "I sure do, Julie."

"That's right!" remarked George Washington, in a Bob Hope type of voice, "I'm giving you Christmas Eve and Day off and inviting you to my Christmas Eve party. Hope I won't be crossing the Delaware like last time though."

And that Christmas Eve, young Julius Caesar and Marc Anthony were sitting in the corner, looking for girls, when George and Martha Washington came and introduced a certain 21-year-old girl named Cleopatra.

Young Caesar fell in love with the girl and together, they danced across the room, just to kiss under the mistletoe.

Meanwhile, as old Caesar saw his younger self kiss Cleopatra, he commented, "She was a nice girl, nice and beautiful as well, with such a pretty nose."

Then Ed added, "Yeah, but within a year, she fell in love with someone else."

Caesar then saw his younger self knocking on Cleopatra's door.

Cleopatra opened and saw young Caesar say, "Hey, baby, goin' my way?"

She replied, "Oh, sorry, Julie, I can't. I still love you, but I have been engaged to Marc Anthony instead, and even though I find you to be a looker, I hear that Marc is even more handsome than you."

With that, young Caesar stormed away, angrily shouting to Cleopatra, "Well, Cleo, if I can't have you, then I don't need any other woman!"

Ed then told Caesar, "Cleopatra indeed married Marc Anthony, and you, bitter at what you saw as utter rejection, turned to money instead."

At that, Caesar replied, pleading, "Oh, Ed, will I ever be able to forgive her?"

But Ed answered, "No, sorry, Cleo also died a woman a long time ago."

Caesar responded, despondently, "Then take me home. I can no longer bear the awful memories."

"Remember, o Julius Caesar," said Ed calmly, "You fashioned these memories yourself." And with that, Ed vanished and Caesar found himself back in his own bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4: Christmas Present

At that moment, Julius Caesar heard some jolly laughter from outside his room.

Caesar opened the door and at that moment, saw a large, jolly, red-haired man. That man wore a helmet and blue-and white striped pants and had pigtails in his hair.

"Come in, Caesar! Come in!" exclaimed the man.

"Who and what are you, o fatto?" Caesar asked timidly.

"I am Obelix, the Ghost of Christmas Present, and I am not fat!" said the spirit, who apparently took offense at Caesar's remark.

"How come you're so happy?" wondered Caesar.

And Obelix replied, "Because of all this food, mince pies, turkey, roast boar, you name it! 'When you're eating well, you're well,' I always say! Oh, but come! Let me show you what is going on this very moment!"

Next thing Caesar knew, he found himself in a great hall, where Toast was hosting a party with his wife Pepper and all their good friends.

Sammy Melman (_Histera!_) came up and hosted a game of Yes and No.

"Is it an animal?" asked Miss Information.

"Yes."

"Is it a dog?" asked Abraham Lincoln.

"No."

"Is it a lion?" asked Napoleon Bonaparte.

"No."

"Is it an ass?" asked Josephine.

"Yes and no."

Pepper came up with the final answer, "Is it Julius Caesar?"

And Sammy Melman said, "Yes!"

Toast added, "And it's a real shame, since my old uncle is missing out on a great dinner!"

At that, Caesar felt some pangs of guilt ravaging his soul. Obelix then said to Caesar, "Let me show you some more."

Just then, Caesar found himself by an old shack.

Obelix explained, "This is the home of your overworked, underpaid clerk, Mickey Mouse."

Lucky Bob and Cho-Cho were decorating a small Christmas tree, while Minnie Mouse, Mickey's wife, was cooking something by the fireplace.

Caesar asked Obelix, "What's she cooking, a goose? Surely, they have more than that!"

Just then, Mickey arrived with a little boy named Tiny Timmy on his shoulders. Unfortunately, Timmy had a crutch in his hand, implying that he had an illness.

"And how did little Timmy behave in church?" asked Minnie.

"As good as gold," said Mickey, "and better. Although sometimes he gets thoughtful and thinks the strangest things. Like he, being a cripple, wants people to remember who made the lame to walk and the blind to see. It's as if he has fairy godparents!" And Mickey and Minnie laughed it out.

"Obelix," said Caesar, with an interest he never felt before, "tell me if Tiny Timmy will live."

"I see an empty chair," replied Obelix, "where Tiny Timmy once sat, and a crutch without its owner, carefully preserved. If these shadows remain unchanged, the boy will die."

"No, no," said Caesar, overcome with penitence and grief, "Oh, no, kind Obelix! Say that he'll live!"

"Listen, o Caesar!" shouted Obelix, "my time is almost up, so I want to show you one last thing."

Obelix lifted his robe and clutching to his legs were two children who resembled Lock and Shock (_The Nightmare Before Christmas_).

Caesar was appalled, and said, "Obelix! Are they yours?"

"They are Man's," said Obelix, "The boy is Ignorance. The girl is Want. Beware them both, but most of all beware the boy!" And with that, he vanished when Caesar needed him most!


	5. Chapter 5: Christmas Yet to Come

Just then, the clock struck twelve. Julius Caesar looked behind him and saw a creepy young man wearing a black cloak and carrying a puppet in the form of an evil cat.

Caesar was filled with dread. "Am I in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come?" he said.

"You are," said the spirit in a voice that made Caesar's blood run cold. "I am Nekozawa, and I am about to show you what may happen if you do nothing about what is going on now."

And next thing Caesar knew, he was by an elementary school, where some schoolchildren were spreading some gossip.

"Hey, guys," said a girl named Francine Frensky, "didn't you hear?"

"No," said a boy named Binky Barnes, "all I know is that he's dead."

"Really? When did he die?" inquired another boy, named Arthur Read.

"Last night, I think."

"And I thought he'd never die!" shouted a third boy, named Buster Baxter, laughing.

A girl named Muffy Crosswire added, "Well, whatever he's done with his money, he certainly hasn't left it to _me_."

"Well, it's likely to be a cheap funeral," said Binky, "I don't know anybody who would dare go to it."

"I wouldn't mind going," observed Buster, "given that lunch is provided!" And they all laughed it out!

Caesar was startled at this, and asked Nekozawa, "Let me see some tenderness connected with this world, PLEASE!"

"With pleasure," said Nekozawa, and showed Caesar a poignant scene.

Mickey and Minnie Mouse, along with Lucky Bob and Cho-Cho, were by a grave stone, the grave stone bearing what appeared to be Tiny Timmy's name. "We will never forget Tiny Timmy for the first parting there was among us," said Mickey solemnly.

"Oh, no," Caesar muttered, "I didn't want this to happen."

Soon Nekozawa took Caesar to a neglected grave. "Whose lonely grave is this?" Caesar asked Nekozawa.

Nekozawa replied, "Look closely."

The gravestone said, JULIUS CAESAR.

At that, Caesar broke down crying, "No, Nekozawa! Oh, no, no! I'm not the man I was! I promise to honor Christmas Past, Present, and Future, please, please!"

And pretty soon, Nekozawa was reduced to a bedpost.


	6. Chapter 6: The End of It

Yes! When Julius Caesar opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was his own bedpost. He had been sobbing violently in his conflict with Nekozawa, and his face was wet with tears, but Caesar himself was happy once he woke up because he had time to change!

As soon as he opened the windows, Caesar spied a little boy with a big voice, the boy's name was Loud Kiddington. "What is today, my fine young man?" he cried.

"TODAY!" replied Loud. "WHY,_ CHRISTMAS DAY!_"

"It's Christmas Day!" said Caesar, quite merrily. "I don't know what to do! I'm as light as a feather, as happy as an angel, as merry as a boy at play, as giddy as Tremensdelirius!" He then inquired, "Do you know the poultry shop?"

"I SHOULD HOPE I DID!" replied Loud.

"An intelligent boy, you are!" said Caesar. "Do you know where they sell the big prize turkey?"

"YOU MEAN THE ONE AS BIG AS ME?" returned Loud.

"Yes, my boy!" said Caesar.

"IT'S STILL THERE!" replied Loud.

"Go and buy it, then," said Caesar, "and I'll give you a shilling. Come back in less than five minutes, and I'll give you half a crown! Such is the generosity of Caesar!"

And Loud was off like a shot!

Caesar then put on his finest clothes, and as soon as he was out, he saw Loud with the turkey. Sure enough, Caesar gave Loud half a crown. "THANK YOU, O CAESAR!" shouted Loud in gratitude.

And Caesar went out into town shouting a Merry Christmas to the world. He said Merry Christmas to his nephew Toast and his nephew's wife Pepper. He said Merry Christmas to Lewis and Clark, giving them 100 gold sovereigns and not a penny less!

Pretty soon, Caesar was at Mickey Mouse's house. Caesar then put on a mean face as Mickey opened the door.

"Oh, ave Caesar." Mickey chuckled nervously.

"Ave," growled Caesar, making a voice as mean as he was able. "How come you're not at work?"

"But Caesar," moaned Mickey, "it's Christmas Day."

"Christmas Day, indeed," said Caesar, "Well, for such folly, you leave me no alternative but to raise your salary!"

"Say what?" thought Mickey, for he was a little confused.

Caesar chuckled in a happy state of mind, "That's right, Michael! Merry Christmas! I'll raise your salary and help your family!"

And Caesar was better than his word. He did all that, and much more. And to Tiny Timmy, who did _not_ die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man as the good old city knew.

And so, as Tiny Timmy observed, "God bless us, every one!"


End file.
